In 2015 I gave up the privilege of having friends so that I could achieve anything I wanted. To my surprise, here’s what I learned from my lonely 2-year experience….
4 years ago, before I was a self-proclaimed marketing agency owner and six figure earner and hoped to achieve everything and anything – I found myself in debt and in a mess. By cutting out every friend and pleasure I had in my life, I ultimately discovered true happiness and massive success.
Now, before I go into detail about this long and lonely journey, please understand that my secret weapon has been my one and only partner in life, my girlfriend Brooke. Without her, none of this would be possible.
By the way, I’m not saying you don’t need friends. You’re human and of course, you need acquaintances. Fundamentally and from an evolutionary perspective, we do need friends. Especially if you want to achieve big things in life.
An Old Mexican proverb states:
“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”
I agree with this wholeheartedly because it has become a reality for me.
Depending on your definition of friends and what you consider a “need”; technically speaking you could survive without friends, but regarding the quality of life, happiness, success, growth, and resiliency, we need friends for sure.
I used to surround myself with complete losers, drunks, party-goers and nonambitious people. Today, these people still continue to reach out to me. Except now they ask for jobs, favors, and even money.
Yep, that’s me alright. Circa 2013, one year before I discovered the law of association.
The law of association is the concept of becoming who you’re around most. Once I bumped into this concept, my world changed forever. Back then, if somebody had told me “if you hang out with 5 broke people, you will be the sixth”, I would have most likely laughed. I surely never would have considered it helpful advice. I simply was just not aware of the way successful people thought.
Today, it is the concept I live by. In order to change who I was, I had to change who I was around. If you have ever tried to change up your circle, you know first-hand that it is the hardest damn thing you will ever do. Am I right?
[reminder]Have you ever had to change your circle of influence? How did you do it?[/reminder]
I made the decision to become an entrepreneur in February of 2014, and for the first 8 months I earned next to nothing monetarily. However, my mindset gained a huge asset. I discovered the power of positive thinking, and the law of attraction. Here are some of the things that changed for me:
- I began reading books.
- I cut out bad habits such as drinking and staying up late.
- I stopped watching pornography.
- I stopped getting annoyed by basic people. Instead of thinking that everyone other than myself was stupid, I instead used it as motivation for me to become more self-aware.
- Instead of watching television and listening to music, I began listening to audio programs from people such as Earl Nightengale, Kevin Trudeau, Napolean Hill, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins and more.
- I began setting goals and working towards them daily.
- I stopped looking up to people who were chasing women and trying to be “cool” and instead began looking up to innovators and impactful businessmen.
- I began saving my money, to one day invest in a risk that could either pay off big or teach me a lesson. Both are extremely valuable.
The self-discipline needed in order to change as a person is immensely difficult, and there is obviously a reason that not many people attempt it. To this day it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
I remember when I first started focusing on being able to achieve big, friends of mine would invite me out to the bar or tempt me with alcohol. In the beginning, it was hard to resist, but in the back of my mind I knew one day I would be able to achieve anything, and simply do whatever I wanted.
Today, I am able to afford VIPs at the nicest venues, and bottle service for all of my current friends. However, they are not the friends I used to have, which is a good thing. The people I used to surround myself with are currently doing the same thing today that they were doing over 3 years ago. They have stood on the sidelines and watch me step by step achieve my wildest dreams and travel the world. I have generated millions of dollars in sales as their bank accounts only went backwards.
This is another piece of evidence that should hopefully encourage you to please reconsider who you are spending your time with. By spending time alone, you will not be influenced by other people’s habits and decisions. This is crucial when trying to find yourself or achieve anything related to success.
Some of the most powerful influencers of our time have found themselves completely alone during some of their most challenging times in entrepreneurship. People such as Einstein and Steve Jobs come to mind. The reason they were able to achieve just about anything is that they persevered through the hard times, and I’m confident that they knew in their hearts that their success would grant them the freedom to attract the right friends and relationships. Which I’m sure you would agree, that they ultimately did.
During my loneliest times, I relied on my wonderful girlfriend and the ability to envision a future full of good people and powerful connections. Today, this is a reality. I accomplished this because my will to sacrifice short-term allowed me to achieve big long term. Most people are not willing to make the sacrifice.
The #1 Reason You Should Cut Out Friends: I encourage you to analyze your closest friends. Are they supporting you? What are the contributing to your life? Are they pushing you forward, or pulling you backwards?
Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever, and if you don’t get rid of the wrong friends you will never make room for the right friends.